Ever wonder..........

........what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........


My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you….I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me. ####################################

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go......
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
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Happy birthday!
You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
(....this one made me howl.....)
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We have been friends for a very long time ..... let's say we stop?
(....another personal favourite.....must be the mood I am in!!!)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.
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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~