January 25, 2007

A funny for the day.........

.......cuz I get tired seeing the same post on my blog day after day.....and, well my mind isn't being very creative these days.........


SIPPING VODKA……..

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on
the pulpit , I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start
to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following
note on the door: !

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this
and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .

12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's

6 peeps just sayin':

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Boo, let me get this straight...you check you blog and are disappointed nothing has been added since your last post?

Give me your pass word and I'll make every visit very interesting for you ; )

Trop said...

Thanks for the much-needed LOL.

Annoyed said...

Very funny!

I love stopping by your blog...even when it's a sadder post the blog itself is just so damn HAPPY!

Honestly, the most original looking one I'm linked to. And full of great content at that!

Thanks for all of it!

the only daughter said...

...the late J.C. hehehehehe ~~funny stuff.

thanks.

SassyFemme said...

Oh my gosh, that's too freakin' funny!!!

Attila The Mom said...

Bahahaha! I'm sending that to my mom, the retired minister. ;-)