February 20, 2007

Hallmark on a bad day......

From yesterday's serious post about life lessons......to today's snarky post.....all in the blink of an eye!! Must be that gemini nature being let loose.....serious to snark in under 30 seconds.......

Have a laugh on me!!



Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?


My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.

----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ..
………let's say we stop?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so miserable without you
……..it's almost like you're here.


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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

10 peeps just sayin':

Annoyed said...

"How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?"


Honestly, I have a bunch of people I could send this one to.

Funny stuff!

Nikki said...

LMAO

I love these.

the only daughter said...

These were a hoot. :)

Attila The Mom said...

Bahahaha! Thanks for the giggle! ;-)

poet said...

too funny, boo, thanks.

Sarah said...

CLASSIC! Thanks for the laugh!

fringes said...

Holy cow! Funny! Did you write these? Uncle Dad is hilarious!

het said...

I am gonna go look for these cards.... cant wait to start posting them... too chicken to sign them though !!
ciao4now

Trish said...

"Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband."

I think I got this one when I got married! :D

Dorky Dad said...

Those cards are hilarious!! If they had cards that good at Hallmark I'd go there every day, unlike now when the Wife drags me there every other day.