October 11, 2006

Pet Diaries.......

The Dog's Diary

7AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6PM - Oh boy! Welcome home,Mom! My favorite!
7PM - Oh boy! Welcome home, Dad! My favorite!
8PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my humans bed! My favorite!

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The Cat's Diary

Day 2,190 of my captivity.....

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry kibble.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow, I may eat another house plant. Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weavingaround their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Note toself - try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. They only petted me reassuringly. Perhaps I should try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only coo'd and condescended about what a good little kitty I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called allergies. Must learn what this is and how to use them to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured ----- but I can wait.

It's only a matter of time……

2 peeps just sayin':

Drew Blackstone said...

You must own a golden retriever. They thik everything you do is the best thing ever!

"Hey, that guy is watching TV. Wow! This is the best thig ever!"

Hey, that guy is picking his nose. Wow!! This is the best thing ever!!

The Scribe said...

That's sounds just like MY dog! I love it.
Rhea
The Boomer Chronicles