Pet Diaries.......

The Dog's Diary

7AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6PM - Oh boy! Welcome home,Mom! My favorite!
7PM - Oh boy! Welcome home, Dad! My favorite!
8PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my humans bed! My favorite!

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The Cat's Diary

Day 2,190 of my captivity.....

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry kibble.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow, I may eat another house plant. Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weavingaround their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Note toself - try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. They only petted me reassuringly. Perhaps I should try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only coo'd and condescended about what a good little kitty I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called allergies. Must learn what this is and how to use them to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured ----- but I can wait.

It's only a matter of time……